Brightest Possibility
by Sinjinn
Summary: A pivotal, bittersweet moment for Carth Onasi. PreKOTOR I.


"Lieutenant Onasi, emergency message from Telos for you. They've tried a half dozen times so far, sir."

Carth, fresh from air patrol, froze at the dreaded words delivered so laconically. "Patch it through to my quarters... Oh, frak!" Ripping off his helmet, he tore out of the hangar at a dead run.

Morgana... the baby... something was wrong, he could feel it.

_Force, don't let her be dead! Let her be ok... The baby was so far along... surely it isn't the baby..._ he thought he might throw up even as he raced down the suddenly endless halls until he barreled into his room.

He was so panicked, he slapped the button for the incoming feed over and over, missing every time until with a desperate yell, he punched it up, and barked before an image even showed, "Carth here, what's wrong!"

Something... that looked like a pink, round moon with bleary, blinking eyes filled the entire screen. Carth himself blinked in confusion. What the hell was that?

"Dustil," Morgana's voice, though its warmth and life was leeched from it by the tinny speakers, kissed Carth's ears like the sweetest music, "...this is your daddy... say 'Hi, Daddy!'" Her voice pitched higher to provide Dustil's pretend-voice, "'Hi, Daddy!'"

Carth blinked, and then blinked again. In a rush of realization, every ounce of blood drained from his head, his lungs emptied of air and his knees simply gave way. He crashed hard onto the edge of his desk chair and was barely able to stabilize himself before he bowled completely over.

Thank the Force - Morgana was all right and... Dustil? His son... their baby...

That was his son's face and his son's eyes blinking at him with what looked amusingly like confused irritation, his pale eyebrows alternately pulling together and straightening as he worked through the strange images before him. Carth watched, utterly fascinated, as a small, perfect fist rose into the frame and dragged across his son's fat little pink cheek. Then he opened his tiny, pursed mouth and yawned.

Carth's heart broke then and there and his breath hitched in his chest. His son!

"'Ana! Stars, 'Ana... he's… he's beautiful, look at him!" Carth's voice was scratchy and hushed; it didn't seem to want to work, so he fell into silence and simply stared while trying to remember to breathe.

The scrunched-up, newborn face of his precious son was pulled away from the monitor and his tiny body was nestled gently into the curve of Morgana's arm. She was in her medbay bed, her blond hair a mess of sweaty tangles and her cheeks still touched with scarlet. Tubes extended from her on all sides and she looked completely exhausted. He'd never, ever seen her more beautiful...

She smiled at him with a new serenity he'd never seen in her before when she said with a solemn, knowing grin, "Hi, Daddy. Look what we did." She pressed Dustil's forehead to her cheek sweetly.

Carth's breath stuttered out of him in a sort of short, hysterical chuckle before 'Ana's image blurred and he realized he was crying. He blinked his tears away desperately, not wanting to miss a single second of this moment. Raising his shaking fingers to the monitor, he murmured her name, wanting nothing more than to be at her side kissing her and holding his son. His skin literally felt restrictive, as if his spirit was determined to fly out of him to be by his family.

"Hey, Daddy, don't cry. Baby-boy here's going to give us enough of that." He saw tears filling 'Ana's eyes despite the wide grin she gave him, and they simply stared at each other for a moment before letting out simultaneous, watery, overwhelmed laughs.

Giddy... he felt light-headed and giddy... he was a father. It wasn't just a word or an idea anymore. He had a son. He had a beautiful wife and a brand new baby boy. Carth never felt so grateful and humble in his life as he stared at the woman who made such happiness possible.

"'Ana, Force - I love you... you know that, right? You're ok, right? He's ok?"

Her laugh thrilled him, "I do know it, and I love you. I'm fine, and he's perfect." She smiled her sweet smile that never failed to fill his chest with warmth. She adjusted Dustil in her arms and peered down at him, shining with a mother's love that made her so damn beautiful it hurt. Dustil's small fists waved in the air as if reaching for her face and equally tiny feet struggled in the confines of his swaddling. Every move his son made was like watching a miracle in motion and Carth simply sat and stared until Morgana asked, "When can you come home and see us?"

He could hear her anxiety, though she hid it well, and he saw a flash of it in her eyes. Guilt smacked him in the chest and he railed to himself that he'd missed such an important moment. 'Ana deserved so much better…

Somehow Carth found his voice and tried to get a firmer grip on himself before he was reduced to a blubbering mess. "I dunno, pretty-lady, but I know Saul won't mess around once he hears the news. He'll let me come home right away - I know it. I... Force, I just can't wait, 'Ana... I'm just... I'm so sorry I wasn't there..."

She smiled into the monitor and tilted her head with a soft look meant to soothe his fears, "You had no way of knowing I'd go into labor a couple weeks early. Don't worry about it, hon. Just come home soon as you can."

He silently cursed every single parsec that lay between them in that instant.

She laid her head back on the pillows behind her and smiled wanly through a sigh; she looked completely exhausted. He wanted to stare at his family for hours, but he forced his lips to move, "You look really tired… you need to get some rest, ok? You definitely deserve it. I can't… it's just… 'Thank you' sounds so stupid, but I'm just… I'm just so damn grateful. For you, for him, for you carrying him, and going through what you did… I mean…"

She laughed again, soft and warm, "My silly man. Don't thank me. Just come home to me… to us."

Carth's chest tightened – he wanted nothing more than to hop in a ship that very second. "Kiss that beautiful baby boy for me and you'll see me as soon as I can make it happen. I'll let you know as soon as I know when that'll be. I love you, 'Ana."

"I love you, Carth. Keep yourself safe. And stock up on sleep - you'll need it!" She gave one of her trademark, silvery laughs that never failed to make him chuckle along with her before she looked back down at the bundle in her arms, "Say, 'I love you, Daddy!'" She adjusted Dustil so he faced the monitor, grasped one of his tiny hands and led him in a gentle wave.

Carth could barely choke out the first words he said directly to his son, "I love you, Dustil." He took a deep breath and said with more strength, "And I'll see both of you soon as I can."

He and 'Ana gazed at each other for a long, poignant moment before she reluctantly reached over and flicked a switch, causing the image of her holding their baby to disappear.

He sat and stared at the blank monitor for a long moment, staggered by the rush of emotions and thoughts that swirled through him. Such hopes he had... his mind flooded with wishes for their son, the things he wanted for him and wanted him to experience, have or do. Pride, deep and powerful, welled up in Carth's chest and he practically leapt from his chair to run down the hall toward the bridge and Saul with a smile a light-year wide.

No matter what came after this, he knew he'd always have this moment when he felt so happy he thought he'd burst, and nothing but the brightest possibilities lay before him.

_  
My first fanfic, so reviews are incredibly welcome. Thanks for looking!_


End file.
